Tuesday, October 7, 2008

get off the fence


For most of what I have called my “Christian Life,” I have basically just paid lip service to what Christianity is all about, and I have usually not done a very good job of even that.  I've followed when it's convenient, ... and then I've ignored the responsibilities of following when it's inconvenient.  When the spiritual nudges come, I nod the other way.

I've been riding the fence, ... one foot in my world, one foot in God's.

But for whatever reason, I really am feeling like that it is time to “go all in.” For the first time in my life, I think that I am getting it. Whether I am beaten, or just surrendered, or both, …I am feeling like God is really working me over right now.  The messages at the Vineyard Westside, the people I'm running into, the events occurring in my life, ... these are too much to ignore or dismiss.  I feel my heart cracking.

Please don't get me wrong: I haven’t arrived yet, ...my plane hasn't landed, but I really feel like I am finally in line to buy a flight ticket with my own money.



CS Lewis writes:

“This is my endlessly recurrent temptation: to go down to that Sea (I think St. John of the Cross called God a sea) and there neither dive nor swim nor float, but only dabble and splash, careful not to get out of my depth and holding on to the lifeline which connects me with my things temporal…

…It is different from the temptations that met us at the beginning of the Christian life. Then we fought (at least I fought) against admitting the claims of the eternal at all. And when we had fought, and been beaten, and surrendered, we supposed that all would be fairly plain sailing. This temptation comes later. It is addressed to those who have already admitted the claim in principle and are even making some sort of effort to meet it. Our temptation is to look eagerly for the minimum that will be accepted. We are in fact like honest but reluctant taxpayers. We approve of an income tax in principle. We make our returns truthfully. But we dread a rise in the tax. We are very careful to pay no more than is necessary. And we hope – we very ardently hope – that after we have paid it there will still be enough left to live on” (from C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory).



Someone from Cincinnati today is misusing the word "CHOICE."

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