Perhaps it's the rainy, rainy "sprummer" that we're in. Or maybe it's something else. Perhaps it's just simply that I'm finally paying attention. Don't know, but I'm growing fruit-producing plants better than ever, and I have no explanation for it.
As I write this, I'm looking forward to tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, parsley, basil, beans, dill, and cilantro. I walk outside, daily, ... and might I say even "proudly" (not quite like an expecting father, ... and I won't talk about, here, pacing the floor with cigars in my pocket), to check the progress of these plants.
At the very least, it could be that "expecting something to grow" may impact, in some way, these plants actually growing and producing fruit. I suppose that if I pay no attention to them (by instead doing something like reading a book, checking Facebook, watching TV, or post something on a blog, etc., ... when the plants want ... and really need something), one of two things will occur:
1. They'll grow and produce fruit anyway
2. They won't
...and by paying attention to these two possible outcomes while writing here, and with remembering my lack of success with producing fruit in the past (while watching "Survivor" et al.), I'm left with two possible reasons for growing unsuccessfully in the past:
1. I've not paid enough attention/given enough focus
2. It's not really up to me, and it never has been
These to possible reasons, however, bring with them such radically different ways of being, of thinking, and of believing:
1. If it's really not up to me, then this particular blog post is as mindless and useless as opining about the meaning of waves crashing on beaches
2. On the other hand, if it's really more to do with my attention/focus, .... well, then that's a whole different story
So, I'm left with a decision:
1. Pay attention
2. Or assume that things grow regardless of choice
... which leads to further questions about things unrelated to growing Western Hills Salsa:
Do I have a choice?
Does my choice matter?
How could it?
Why does parsley grow?
How can it?
Does it (parsley) care that I'm asking?
And what about tomatoes?
Do they care when they are being eaten alive?
Are they *upset* when the aren't?
What is "choice?"
Is it an illusion?
Are we predestined?
Are the cucumbers too, predestined?
And what about the beans?
Do the strawberries grow so the birds can eat them?
How does Ethan make sense of that?
How do I?
You?
Is "Choice" king?
Or queen?
... or sovereign somehow?
Is it Hobbes?
Or Martin Luther?
Is it Calvin?
Where does Jesus fit in here?
Are my choices simply "just illusions?"
... as much as they are constraints?
Can my constraints be eclipsed by my choices?
Or am I constrained: choice is reacting to it?
Does it matter?
Is it all determined?
Did the Universe wind like a clock, and now we are just ticks?
If I look back, what's delivered me here?
And what about writing about choice?
Do I have a choice in writing about choice?
If It's all predetermined, then this blog is like grass, right?
And what about love?
His love?
Just love, really?
I mean, isn't that ridiculous?
Isn't that whole story of "Love Wins" simply unbelievable?
Does it, Love, really win?
How?
If there is no choice, then how can it win?
Am I a just a dill?
Is "life as we know it" just a series of chemical dances?
Will the beans grow without me?
Do they give a flip about my attention?
Why do I have this connection the the "little-bean," Ethan, then?
Is that all just "biological determinism?"
If so, where does this notion of "Love" come in?
... and, again, how can it win?
Do we choose who we are?
Or, are we just "who we are?"
Do we make choices?
Are we lookers?
Maybe ants?
Growers?
Or do-ers?
Growing?
... Or are there people that write about the line in-between "choice" and
determinism"?
Do I have a spot-light that matters?
And if I do, where in the flip should I look?
On what and whom should that spot-light shine?
