Mom's Christmas

We are leaving for Florida today.

While I'd like to say that we are on an outreach mission, ... the truth of the matter is that we are traveling for the purposes of “in-reach.”

Me and Jennifer (my wife), Ethan (our son), Brian (my brother), and one of my dogs (Maxy), are all piling into a rented six-seater and hitting the road to see my parents. They are snowbirds. They live in Northern KY for about half the year, and then they follow the sunshine and warm weather down south. Our other hounds, (Johnny) Cash and Buddy (Holly) are staying behind with our two cats, Jordan and Pandora, to keep the house and fish (Puffer One, the Neon Twins, and the Pleco Bad Boys) company. Our babysitter, Sam, will be staying home with the rest of our pack/herd/school.

The purpose of the journey is to celebrate Christmas.

My mother is very ill. Close to four years ago, she was officially diagnosed with a disease called Myelofibrosis, and she has been in the hospital three times since getting to Florida, this last time for several weeks due to the complications of the disease.

For those unaware of Myelofibrosis, the Mayo Clinic talks of it this way:

“Myelofibrosis is a serious bone marrow disorder that disrupts your body's normal production of blood cells. Why these changes occur is unknown, but the result is extensive scarring in your bone marrow. This in turn leads to severe anemia — causing weakness and fatigue — and enlargement of your spleen and liver, hallmark characteristics of the disease. You may also hear myelofibrosis referred to as agnogenic myeloid metaplasia or idiopathic myelofibrosis. An uncommon disease, myelofibrosis can occur at any age, although it most frequently develops after age 50. There's no known way to prevent myelofibrosis, and risk factors for it are unclear. In most cases, myelofibrosis gets progressively worse. Treatment generally focuses on relieving signs and symptoms and may include medications, blood transfusions, chemotherapy, radiation therapy and surgery.”

Mom has suffered through all of the above treatments. She has gotten transfusions, has taken oodles of medications, and has reached her limit (according to docs) for chemo and radiation. Were she a younger person, one of the more radical treatments would be a bone-marrow transplant. Due to her age and health, unfortunately, this treatment was never allowed a place at the table. Her doctors have been clear in communicating that this particular option, … is not an option for her.

So, we’ve been treating her illness symptomatically, and for the most part we’ve bee successful. With that said, the disease has wreaked havoc on her blood quality, which has impacted her bone density and organs. The disease has caused numerous problems, including a huge increase in the size of her spleen and liver and a tremendous downgrade in her blood cells. The latest bout has been a spinal fracture that necessitated a rod to be implanted in her back. She’s been in a lot of pain, even before the surgery, and some of the treatment protocol has called for heavy-duty pain drugs (morphine and oxycotin), which has made things worse in many ways. My mother has lost close to one half of her normal body weight, and her spirit seems to be equally cut in half. Perhaps the worse part is that this woman, who never smoked, rarely drank, ate healthy, etc., is addicted to pain drugs.

Just a few words about Mom: She is one of the wisest, most spiritual, artistically gifted, and giving people I know. For many years, she practiced as a Jehovah's Witness but was excommunicated from her church for reasons unclear to me, … this years before she brought me and brother Brian into the world. She taught me about God in ways that Jesus might want us to teach about God. She walked His Story around without ever having to say a word. The lady taught Sunday school for years, and is very knowledgeable about the bible, but never pushed religion on me. Like most sons with their mothers, I could dedicate several blogs just to her missions, her vision, and her life. This woman is what mothers are, and more so, she is what good people should strive to embody.

Besides my wife, my mother is my best friend. We talk daily, although this has changed recently due to the story we both find ourselves in. Nevertheless, she has taught me to always walk with the light, … to take higher roads, … to always rise above temptations of the enemy, … to make sense of our own journeys in a way that raises others in their own walks, … all of which she warned me (and correctly foretold) that I’d do imperfectly and selfishly wrong most times.

She recently told me to not be upset for her not wanting to talk to me the last few weeks. It’s that she’s in pain and not feeling good, she said. I think it’s because she doesn’t want me to hear her being sick. This, I understand intellectually, spiritually, and even academically, … but this situation is still very, very hard to swallow.

In man’s world this is a sad story, so thankfully Mom taught me about the Other World. That is, in God’s World this journey, … my journey, … her journey, … and our journey, …perhaps your journey, … is something entirely different altogether.

We are hitting the road to celebrate Christmas with Mom, so please don’t allow this post to bum you out. This is not the intention. I believe differently, and so might you. Thanks Mom.

“Life is not about surviving the storm but learning how to sing in the rain”