Friday, September 3, 2010

"Your bumper sticker religion is so adorable"

A friend called me out recently: "Your bumper sticker religion is so adorable."

Said so in front of my closest e-friends on Facebook.

Deleted his post.

Sent a text saying: "Watch it, Jerk."

Wondering why I responded so harshly, quickly, angrily.

He does have a point, no? After all, many of the posts on my FB pages do sort of sing the song of "religion." Have written stuff about believing, of hoping, of aspiring to be, of doing, thinking, loving, acting.

It bothers me, the oars from the galley, particularly when the blows strike so squarely on the top of the head.

Perhaps I'm a phony.  But if this is the case, I'm only a phony in so far as I've bought-into an incomplete and irrational story, hay and barrel.

And truth be told, I fall down most times in attempting to accomplish those things of believing, hoping, aspiring, doing, thinking, loving, and acting.

But I feel less like a hypocrite and more like a failure: Not saying one thing and doing the other, but rather saying THE thing and failing miserably, most times, trying to fulfill it.  

But when falling down, that irrational story somehow rings true.

He came to love on those that were failures in the eyes of their peers, but he also came to love on those that were hypocrites.

So if my bumper sticker says "Love Wins," and my life is a failure and/or is a hypocritical mess when compared to such, please forgive.

Trying.

And know: those words on the bumper are real ... no matter what I do.

...